I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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