you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
