Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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