Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
