Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
