My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
