had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize