I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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