How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
