She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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