don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
