Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
