I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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