so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
