Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
