im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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