my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
