You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
