You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
