Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize