and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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