Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
