I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
