It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
