I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
