yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
