I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to calm my uterus...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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