would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
