Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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