I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
