Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
