wakey wakey hands off snakey
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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