Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
