Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
