We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
