I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
