Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
