this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize