remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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