You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
