"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
