Are we in a gay sports bar?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
