i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
