Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
