i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
