i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
