Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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