So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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