A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
