shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Life is so much better after having sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
