I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
