Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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