Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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