your thong is hanging out like whoa
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
