dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Randomize
