Swine flu. Run for my life!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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