apparently the secret to your success is patron
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cut my penus on the lid.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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