we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
