question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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