How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
