I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
