Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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