Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
These tits shall not be calmed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
