I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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