I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
