cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
